Sunday, November 18, 2007

"The Sordid Perils of Everyday Existence" Results

I was there live. Booya. Before I get to the matches, I just want to say that this show in an excellent example of how Chikara knows to pace a show and not get you burnt out too quickly.

Lance Steel def. Retail Dragon via Boston Crab -- This was a pretty decent opener. Retail Dragon hit a tope con hilo midway through the match, and then a senton to Steel while he was sitting on a chair. Retain went for a reverse diving lungblower from the top rope, and he held his knee in pain afterwards. This obviously set up for the Boston Crab finisher, although Steel didn't get it locked in the first time. He actually won it with more of a Liontamer as opposed to a sitdown crab.

Soldier Ant def. Shayne Hawke via TKO -- I was very surprised at this outcome. Shayne Hawke has had many victories this year, especially over higher-tier teams and wrestlers (Lince Dorado, Quack/Storm/Jigsaw). Before the match, Shayne was at ringside saying, "This is where he dives out of the ring before the match, right?" Hawke is awesome throughout the match, as expected. Fire Ant accompanied Soldier Ant to the ring and did a pretty incredible dance to Soldier Ant's theme music. He did it before and after the match, actually. Fire Ant is a very good manager for the Colony because he is full of energy. He would not stop moving at ringside. The crowd got into the match quickly, in large part due to Fire Ant.

Shane Storm def. the Hydra after shenanigans -- Maybe "shenanigans" isn't the right word here. In fact, it's entirely wrong. I don't know why I don't just hit backspace now, but it's too late. Don't tell me what to do -- it's too late. The end of the match saw the Hydra about to do a top-rope 1080 C4 to Shane Storm, but UltraMantis Black held up incense to his face. UMB then uttered the words, "Harvey Oswald Lee," a couple of times, before the Hydra fell backwards off the top rope, and Storm got the easy pin. After the match, Mantis came into the ring and snapped his fingers over the Hydra's head, immediately waking up the world's strongest man. It's hard to tell where this may be going; the only thing I can think of is that Mantis is trying to teach some sort of lesson to the Hydra.

Also, as I noted earlier this week, Shane Storm continues to be used to forward storylines of other wrestlers and factions. This time, he was just the guy who took advantage of UMB hypnotizing the Hydra. Storm's 2008 should be interesting to watch develop, as maybe he can break out of this slump with a fresh year ahead of him.

The Osirian Portal def. Lince Dorado & El Pantera after a Mitch Ryder distraction -- Well, I got Mucha Lucha's predictions reversed. The Osirian Portal is fun to watch. Amasis charmed Lince with Ophidian's help, and then got Lince to dance with him. My brother said that it was a popular dance seen in a "Soulja Boy music video." I don't know what this "Soulja" boy is, nor have I seen this music "video" but it still came off funny. This match was good, as Pantera always brings the awesomeness, but this show has been slightly slow up until now. Nothing has been bad, just a little sluggish. Mucha Lucha go back to 0 points, and I'm surprised that El Pantera wasn't more upset at this, as Lince was the one who was pinned.

Chuck Taylor def. Passion Hasegawa with an Awful Waffle -- This match was mildly sluggish as well, but the CT/Passion/PJ DRUMMOND dance-off was entertaining. Passion did a dive to the outside onto Chucky T, and then Taylor pulled a metal ring out of his hair. It turns out it was a part of a Shane Storm button that was on Nude Smurf's shoe. TRUE STORY.

Claudio Castagnoli def. MIYAWAKI via Ricola Bomb -- Hoooooly crap this match was awesome. Claudio is probably the best guy at kicking out at 2 999/1000ths in Chikara, and maybe in the indies. On Wednesday I said that I was excited to see MIYAWAKI again, and I was not disappointed at all. It's odd that I don't remember many details from this match, but maybe that's because it was so fast-paced. It was a perfect match to put on before the intermission.

Hey, I'm remembering things. Pre-match, Claudio was getting his pads checked by the referee. When he would go to pat down an elbow, Claudio would put his arm behind his head a la the Alex Wright dance. He did this 3 or 4 times, and it was hilarious. Later in the match, Claudio did the lift-and-European-uppercut move. I had never seen him do it to someone heavy like MIYAWAKI, but it was done to perfection here. Great match, and I'm looking forward to the DVD for this one.

Gran Akuma, Icarus, Mitch Ryder, and Robbie Ellis def. Stupefied, Player Uno, Tim Donst, and Mike Quackenbush after a Mitch piledriver on Player Uno -- This match was also perfectly placed, after the intermission. Someone in the crowd asked Mitch if he ate cigarettes, and Ryder couldn't help but crack a smile. He actually had nothing to say back to the guy. The match was fast-paced and well put-together. Toward the end, the match kinda fell apart and everyone paired off. Akuma and Stupefied tied it up on one side of the ring; Donst had Ellis in an Ankle Lock on the other side; Quackenbush chased Icarus to the back, and then they came back out to the merchandise table, where Icarus hid underneath; and Mitch ended up winning by, of course, piledriving the masked Player Uno. He's from Canada, but he's still not from this country!! I guess that makes sense! This match will be triply good on the DVD because Hawke and UMB were on commentary.

Helios (c) def. Fire Ant via Standing SSP -- Shayne Hawke was on commentary, and was shaking his fist so hord at Soldier Ant as he accompanied Fire Ant to the ring. There wasn't anything too memorable from this match, other than the expected spots (Fireman's Carry from the top rope), "The Sky is Falling" double knees, and the standing SSP. This was a solid match.

Chris Hero def. Equinox via the Chikara Special, making Equinox have to remove his mask -- This was an incredible match. The crowd was so hardcore behind Equinox -- we erupted when he put the Chikara Special on Hero. But Hero broke out of it this time!!! I think I'll have to check it out on the DVD to see why it happened, but I think it's because Equinox locked the wrong leg of Hero. Since the wrong leg was hooked, Hero had move movement with his leg, and was able to kick Equinox in the back of the head to get out of the hold. Hero eventually won the match with a Chikara Special of his own. Also, during the match, Hero tore a huge hole in the side of the mask, but all we could see was Equinox's hair sticking out of it.

Everything post-match was pretty harsh. Hero went on about how Equinox had embarrassed him before, but now Equinox would have to feel the humiliation. Equinox was sobbing the entire time, and holy crap we felt bad for him. He eventually took of his mask, with Hero taking it for himself. Then Hero went on to say that he knew who this guy was -- someone who tried to become a wrestler at the Chikara Wrestle Factory, but he failed. He would miss many days of training over a month, but would still be upset that he didn't have a spot on the Chikara roster. So Hero said that Equinox went under a mask and proclaimed to be Mexican, trying to solidify a spot on the roster that way. Hero called him a liar, leaving with his mask. Everyone stood up and clapped to support Equinox, especially after the awesome match we had just seen. When he got to the stage, Lince, El Pantera, Shane Storm, and two others came out with Equinox's suitcase in hand. Lince threw it to Equinox in disgust, and 'Nox left the building immediately. This was pretty emotional and was a huge downer for the crowd. We'd need something extremely funny and high-paced to get us back into the show.

Incoherence def. Cheech & Cloudy, 2 falls to 1, to retain the Campeanatos de Parejas -- Well, that'll do it. C&C's music hit, only for it to fade out and have Delirious's music fade in. C&C came out dressed as (as Nick Papagiorgio put it) "Hallowickedicta" and "Deliriocita", "Incoherencita". Yes, putting an "a" at the end of a Spanish word usually makes it a feminine word. The confusion during the first fall was amazing. The best thing Delirious said was, "I don't like thiiiiiiis." At one point, Delirious tagged out to "Little Stem," as he kept calling Cloudy, and Deliriocito tagged to Hallowicked, and Bryce, although confused, allowed it. Eventually, Hallowicked and Delirious were shoving each other, Incoherencito were shoving each other, and I think Bryce shoved someone as well. The fan in the crowd wearing a Delirious mask didn't help much, either. For most of this fall, one wrestler would do a series of moves, only to have his opponent follow up with the identical series of moves. This proved costly, though, and Cloudy tried to scoop slam Hallowicked, only for 'Wicked to fall on Cloudy and get a three count!

During the break between falls, everyone ended up running backstage; I actually don't remember why this happened. And then on the stage, Cloudy and Cheech appear without their Incoherencito tights on! When they get to the ring, they're upset that they're already down a fall, but they have to wrestle like that. This was a great fall as well, with I believe Cheech getting the pin on Delirious. This was very fast paced, so I don't remember too much about it.

The third fall was extremely exciting. There were many many 2 3/4 counts that really could have gone either way. Most of us weren't even that sure of who we wanted to win. Either way, the crowd would have been happy with the outcome. Again, VERY fast paced, with a good final sequence. Delirious went for that arms-through-the-legs bomb thingy, only for Cloudy to reverse it into a pinning combination, which was then reversed back into Delirious's move. Hallowicked followed it up with a Graveyard Smash, and that was it.

Great show, and I'm so pumped for today's Philadelphia show! Have fun everyone!

No comments: